~author ~ Charmian Toh (from the "wee hours of the morning series of random thoughts")
insomnia has hit again .... or maybe the can of sugar free redbull ... and a full serving of oregon chai had something to do with keeping me up ....
thoughts are still running through my mind. I watch the dark sky slowly turn purple, red, orange, pink ... and then pale blue as the hours and minutes and seconds tick away .... eternity passing me by in slow motion. It should be beautiful .... there should be some emotion of awe ... inspiration ...God-fearing and loving realization that maybe, maybe there is a plan after all. There is purpose after all. And yet, nothing.
Am I supposed to be the one that brightens someone's day all the time? Am I the one has to be someone else's angel? And if I refuse? What then? Will be labeled as the "fallen one"? Will the flaming sword fall? Will I be cut off? Will I be doomed to walk the remaining existence in a wingless state?
Still .... I guess one has to choose a path eventually.... meandering or otherwise ....